If you are always afraid of being rejected by others, you probably have a lot fewer friends and relationships than you want.  You are probably lonely much of the time, wondering how you can get the courage to approach others.  You can learn to overcome your rejection fears and learn to make a lot more new friends!

  

One of the reasons why rejection can cause us so much difficulty is that in our minds we often tie rejection to so many other ugly words that cause us even more pain.  Humiliated.  Inadequate.  Useless.  Loser.  Not good enough.  Pathetic.

 

The more we dwell negatively upon an instance of rejection, the harder it becomes to get up the courage to face another occasion when we might get rejected again.

 

When we experience rejection, we can tell ourselves that we are doomed to be rejected forever; that any rejection from another person is proof that we are somehow not good enough, and that we were wrong to ever think that another person could like us. 

 

But is this the only way to look at rejection?  Remember that people who have healthy self- esteem, who are outgoing and who make lots of social overtures to others, get rejected too.  The difference is that they don’t feel nearly as troubled by rejection.  They don’t take it personally. 

 

They don’t view rejection as proof that they are flawed. 

 

Rejection is often much more troubling to those people who are very emotionally sensitive, who have low self-esteem, or who have had a very dysfunctional or abusive childhood.

 

There is good news though.  Even if you are very emotionally sensitive or shy, even if you didn’t get much emotional support as you were growing up, you can still learn to change the way you talk to yourself about the experience of rejection.  You will have to practice a lot to change the way you think about rejection, and you may need the help of a good therapist to point out new, more supportive ways of thinking. 

 

If you absolutely hate the thought of rejection by other people, here is a foolproof method that will guarantee that you will never be rejected again.

 

Are you curious?  Here it is:  The way you can be totally rejection-proof is if you give up absolutely all interactions with other human beings for the rest of your life!

 

Is that something you are really willing to do?  There are occasionally extreme cases of people who adopt this option.  For the great majority of us however, giving up all social connection is too high a price to pay to avoid the occasional pain that sometimes accompanies human interactions. 

 

When we give up interacting with others, not only do we give up some occasional pain and discomfort, but we also miss out on all the potential warmth, comfort, fun and excitement that other human beings can offer us.  Remember, if you never put yourself in a situation where someone can say “no” to you, you will also never be in a situation where someone can say “yes” to you.