Letting go of a relationship has to be one of the most difficult lessons we experience from lifetime to lifetime. However, it is also one of the most valuable lessons we can experience. It allows us to recognize why we are here and to look deeper within ourselves. We are all mirrors to one another.
We start a relationship feeling a special connection; and as the relationship grows, we begin to experience "love," "comfort," and feelings of "purpose." We begin to feel like everything in our life is better, and we are happier. We go into a state of feeling bliss…the euphoric feelings of love.
When the person we are in love with tells us they have "fallen out of love”, the first thing we begin to experience is "loss." We begin to feel like we are losing a part of ourselves. After we go through the feelings of loss, we then begin to wonder how this person that we knew so well could let us down. We wonder what is wrong with ourselves that they would no longer love us. We begin to question our self worth. Then, we become bitter and begin to forget why we fell in love in the first place. We allow ourselves to be swallowed up by the fear of abandonment.
The question I would like to pose to everyone is, "What is love?" I believe that we put too much energy into the fact that love is this "thing" that makes our life better if we can have it. If we work hard enough and are valuable enough of a person we can keep it. What we forget is that we are love. Love is something that is already present in our lives. That we are all created in the image of God, and God is love. Our society has forgotten how to truly love ourselves. We need to get back to our own individuality…in essence, our "purpose." This purpose is to "be love.” If we can do this, then we can learn to fall in love with ourselves; and then we can have a fulfilling relationship.
The biggest mistake we make in relationships is to put this expectation on the other person. Think about how much pressure we put on those around us by putting them on pedestal to make us feel whole, to feel happy and loved. We need to remember that anytime we put an expectation on another person to feel loved, we are giving up our own power. We are also setting ourselves up to feel "fear". Fear being the opposite of love.
By embracing that you already have love within you and that you are already whole, you can then "truly" share it with another person. You can truly experience a "divine relationship." "Falling" in love has already happened within ourselves. Sharing love is something that can be a wonderful experience. I believe a true relationship between two people is one that has no fear of being alone. There is no expectation of feeling whole or complete, because we are already whole; and being part of this person’s life, enhances our life.
Moreover, the next time you begin to feel let down by your partner or if you experience a break up, ask yourself, "How am I letting myself down?" and "What void was this person temporarily filling?" Then, thank them for teaching you the most valuable lesson that you can experience. This lesson is "Yourself." You are perfect, you are love.